Q: Are We Not Men?

A: We are Devo, and we may be getting older and fatter, but we're still Devo and we're still awesome!

The li'l woman and I went to the Coors Amphitheatre (formerly Fiddler's Green) to see the "Lost 80's" concert. As you can guess from that name, the lineup was comprised of old bands from that magical decade that seems to be so hip with people who aren't old enough to have experienced it the first time around. Here's the rundown:

Dramarama - The music started at 5pm, and we got stuck in heavy traffic for the drive to the south end of town. It became a running joke for the drive - "get out of my way, don't you people know that I'm going to miss Dramarama??!!?? I wonder if all of these people are on their way to see Dramarama?" Seeing as I was never a fan of this band, I really wasn't agitated, but it was fun to pretend I was. We got there in time to see their last 3 songs - the dreaded song "something from our upcoming album," plus their two hits Last Cigarette and Anything, Anything (I'll Give You). They didn't make any real strong impressions, but they weren't annoying, and it was funny to see the singer sipping on a Tab (now, that's rock n' roll!). My friend JT once described the singer as looking like "a guy who would be really excited by his new lawnmower." He still looks like that guy; maybe he's doing this tour to finance a really nice riding mower. For the record, 3 of the 5 guys on stage were original members.

Missing Persons - I'll always have a bit of a soft spot for this group. I saw them in the fall of '82 at the Rainbow Music Hall - my first new wave concert, and my first ever concert at the Rainbow (RIP). Nowadays, singer Dale Bozzio (she of the squeaky voice and fishbowl brassiere) is the only original member. I'm sure she tours with whatever studio/for hire guys she can find. The li'l woman and I saw her/them 10 years ago in Seattle, which was kind of fun and a bit sad. Same story this time around. Dale is skinny again (she was really chunky in Seattle), but she doesn't look very good. Our new acquaintance, Randy the sports writer, summed it up best: "that woman has a lot of miles on her." Em described her as having "bedraggled Barbie doll hair," similar to a doll whose hair was ruined from being styled too many times. Never a great singer, it sounded like Dale was really having problems over the first couple of songs. She always sounded out of air (I was wondering if she was missing a lung), and her once quirky squeaks were sounding more like shrieks. However, a funny thing happened - the longer they played, the better she sounded. She never sounded great, but her voice got a lot stronger and the old squeaks returned. I'm not sure what happened there, maybe she just needed to warm up or get used to the altitude. I haven't listened to Missing Persons for years, so I was amazed at how many of their old songs I recognized - Destination Unknown, Words, Mental Hopscotch, Noticeable Ones, It Ain't None of Your Business, Windows, Walking in LA. Oh, and did I mention that Dale Bozzio is now batshit insane? During her ultra long introduction to Destination Unknown she rambled on and on about how we all need to save every extra nickel to send our kids to college. Did you know she lives in New Hampshire and had 16 cats? And that, if she wanted to, she could go out and shoot bears and cock-a-doodle-doos because it's legal there? Well, now you do. Who knows, maybe she had a few drinks before hitting the stage. Either way, her commentary was very bizarre. Still, their set ended up being enjoyable if nothing remarkable.

Guess who was throwing out guitar picks during Missing Persons set? Snakemannn!!! You read that right, freakin’ Snakemannn!!! He was just tossing them out to his fans, and they have an autograph on one side and his website on the other – awesome! If you had ever told me in the past that someday I’d be seeing the legendary Snakemannn in person, I wouldn’t have believed it. I have no idea who this guy is; I think he was a roadie or something. People would pick these things up, look at each other, and just shrug.

Flock of Seagulls - For those of you keeping score, the only original member in this band is vocalist Mike Score. His once sweeping hairdo is no longer in the band either, replaced by a ponytail and a wool cap. This was not a band I really ever cared much for, and their performance was pretty dull. I only remember 4 of their songs - I Ran, Space Age Love Song, Telecommunication, Wishing - all of which were duly trotted out. During the chorus to I Ran, the audience sing-along was louder than the band's vocals. Oh, and they had a new song which provided the evening's most cringe worthy moment. I can remember part of the chorus - "she lives in a hole, wrapped up in silver paper, she's out of control..." It's easy to remember, as the song was nearly 10 minutes long and they repeated that line about 100 times. At least it felt that way.

The English Beat - Okay, I had a few issues with this. This evening, the only original member of the Beat was singer Dave Wakeling. I'm willing to cut a certain amount of slack to groups that lack some (or most) of their original lineups. I'm not going to begrudge somebody's attempt to make a living out of former glories. Everybody needs to eat. Bands like Missing Persons and Flock of Seagulls were pretty inconsequential to start with, mostly remembered for one or two hits and some silly haircuts. The English Beat does not fall under this category - The Beat were a terrific band that put out 3 great albums. Every member played an integral part in their sound. Most importantly, they were a band with two vocalists - Dave Wakeling and toaster Ranking Roger. I saw the Beat twice in '83, at the Rainbow and at Red Rocks, and they were truly breathtaking (I still rate the Red Rocks show as one of the best concerts I've ever seen). A few years ago in Seattle, we saw a solo Dave Wakeling show. He played English Beat and General Public numbers, and he even had a fake Ranking Roger on stage, but at least it was billed as a Dave Wakeling show. Which is how he should be billed - I think he now bills himself as either the English Beat or General Public, whichever name he thinks will be a bigger draw in the town he's playing in. Griping aside, the man still does have a great voice, and it's hard to complain too much with songs this catchy - tunes like I Confess, Best Friend, Mirror in the Bathroom, Save It for Later, Doors of Your Heart, and the General Public hit Tenderness. Still, his backing band was a little too sterile for my tastes, and the cheesy keyboards covering the horn parts grated on my nerves. The general admission "pit" in front where we were was at its most crowded during this set, and we saw a fight break out. People were talking about how great the band looked; I don't think they even knew there was only one original guy on stage. I did hear one or two people ask "where's Ranking Roger?" Maybe I'm too cynical, or being too hard on Dave Wakeling, but this set left me a bit disappointed despite my attempts to enjoy it.

At this point they had the audience choose who had the best 80's hair - they had been running a contest all day. The kid who won was too young to remember anything about the 80's. I think he got his look from watching old John Hughes movies. Lucky little twerp got to sit on stage for the main act…

Devo - Okay, this is the reason we shelled out the big bucks. Without the Spudboys headlining, we wouldn't have bothered. I had only seen Devo once before, in ‘88 when they were touring behind the Total Devo album. That concert, while enjoyable, was nothing compared to this show. The band, much older and bigger around the middle (except for guitarist Bob 2, who looks pretty darn good), came on stage decked out in yellow radiation suits and red energy domes. The only non-original member was the drummer - they had Josh Freese (from the Vandals, the new Guns and Roses, and tons of session work) providing the backbeat, he did a terrific job. They opened with That's Good, getting things off to a rousing start, followed by Going Under and Girl U Want. Surprisingly enough, their biggest hit Whip It was next, during which they tossed energy domes into the crowd. After this, they pretty much stuck to their first three (and best) albums - Satisfaction, Uncontrollable Urge, Jocko Homo, Mongoloid, Smart Patrol/Mr. DNA (they nailed this one!), Blockhead, and Gates of Steel. During Uncontrollable Urge Mark Mothersbaugh ran around shredding the other members' radiation suits - revealing Devo t-shirts and boxer shorts, plus knee pads. Emily couldn't stop laughing, seeing guys onstage who looked like they could be her dad behaving in such fashion. The encore was terrific - Freedom of Choice, Gut Feeling/Slap Your Mammy, Wiggly World, and Come Back Jonee. During the last song, Mark Mothersbaugh wore a giant foam cowboy hat and fake mustache - he reached into his boxer and pulled out more boxers which he threw into the crowd. Then he started pulling out handfuls of superballs, which he bounced off of the stage into the audience. It was one of the funniest things I've seen in some time. Then it was over - I wish they would have played a bit longer, but I really can't complain. Devo put on a great show, much better than I was anticipating, and I had high expectations. We had a great time, and feel fortunate to have been witness to such convincing proof of the theory of de-evolution.

Yes, I bought an energy dome. Yes, I'm an idiot.