"I like their clean cut beat…"

I recently had the “pleasure” of watching a few music related films that you don’t hear too much about. Here are my observations on one of them:

ABBA – The Movie (1977)

This was shown on cable on New Year’s Eve, so I dutifully taped it and watched it a few nights later. I actually remember this playing in the theater when I was a kid and living in Houston. I showed my parents the ad in the paper, in hopes that they would take me to see it. “ABBA? Who would want to see a movie about them?” my dad responded. I was a bit disappointed as not only was ABBA the only group I liked that my parents approved of (they didn’t like my other faves KISS and the Beatles – yeah, the Beatles, go figure…), but they listened to them as well. So flash forward nearly 28 years, and I’m finally getting to see it. Not that I was holding my breath or anything…

The bulk of the movie is documentary footage of ABBA’s 1977 Australian tour. You get to see some incredibly boring backstage footage in which the band members will jump back and forth in conservation from English to their native Swedish (having visited Sweden once before, I’ve witnessed this phenomenon firsthand – it’s bizarre). Also featured are some press conferences, in which the Australian journalists seem very interested in Agnetha’s “bottom.” Apparently, her rear end was voted “the best in Europe” (“How can I tell?” she coyly comments, "I can not see it!"), so who can blame them? The bulk of the footage is from concerts, the first live film I’ve ever seen of the band. Unfortunately, this footage is a bit grainy and not all that impressive. What struck me the most is how amateurish their stage show is by today’s standards. ABBA was the biggest pop band in the world at the time this was filmed. Anyone even close to that status now would have a dozen synchronized dancers and several costume changes (not to mention lip synching). Witnessing Agnetha and Anni-Frid’s clunky dance moves, it’s quite apparent that they haven’t been anywhere near a dance instructor. A costume change for these two is putting on a goofy wig and cape. It’s rather charming when compared to the cold performances of today’s poptarts – they appear to be having as much fun onstage as anyone in the audience. Oh, and Agnetha’s bottom is featured prominently in a few shots.

There is a lame subplot in the film, in which a popular deejay is following ABBA across the continent attempting to get an interview for a radio special he’s been assigned to produce. Needless to say, he gets turned away by the group’s handlers constantly or misses his connections – if he met up with them too easily, they wouldn’t be able to drag out the subplot for 90 minutes. Okay, if this guy is such a popular deejay, couldn’t his radio station set up an interview or establish a few contacts? One of the more ridiculous parts in the film is when he is trying to find the band’s first press conference at their hotel. He’s driving around the city and he yells up at a truck driver in traffic next to him “Do you know where ABBA is staying? You know, ABBA, the Swedish pop group!” Along the way, he gets interviews from fans. The best comment is from an older gentleman who says he likes ABBA for their “clean cut beat.” A little girl says that she thinks ABBA is “sekkks-seeeeee,” to which her friend replies “I don’t think they’re sexy, I think they’re nice” (apparently she hasn’t checked out Agnetha’s bottom). A music professor says he appreciates the fact that ABBA’s lyrics “don’t concern themselves with whips and chains.” (Huh??!!??!!) At one point the deejay has a dream in which he has become best friends with the group. The dream is a montage sequence that includes him getting his interview, playing Frisbee and golf with the band, having candlelit dinners with them, alternately making out with Anna-Frid and Agnetha, getting big bear hugs from Benny and Bjorn, riding on the band’s yacht, and playing poker in an old west saloon in period costumes. You know, all of the typical stuff you do with your best friends. Will the deejay ever get his interview? By running into them in an elevator, perhaps, after he has given up all hope? I’ll never tell.

This movie was pretty rough going at first – the li’l woman and I looked at each other about 20 minutes in and I said “I don’t know if I can make it through 90 minutes of this.” Then the dream sequence came soon thereafter and hooked us in. It’s currently not in print, but a DVD is supposedly coming out by the end of the year. It’s far from a great movie, but I’d recommend it to ABBA fanatics, cheesy movie enthusiasts, and people who appreciate Agnetha’s bottom.